Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
