it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
