Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
