is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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