scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
