Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You pole danced in your parka.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
