is your mom at the bar?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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