I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
