This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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