do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
