Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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