you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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