Whatcha textin bout Willis?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
