bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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