So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Why is your signature on my underwear?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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