he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
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I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
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sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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