In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
