What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
