It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
