I just cut my nipple shaving
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
