I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
im about as happy as oj after his trial
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I have already put on my inside pants.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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