absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
