These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
