It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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