yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
