mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize