Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize