And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
