She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
