I can't watch pbs sober anymore
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
