that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
