dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
