I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
