Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
