Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
