Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
FUCK WHALES
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
