it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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