I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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