I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
