she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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