Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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