He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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