if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
be right there i have to get my cape
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
