We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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