Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
smell my finger.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
