So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
