apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
