I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
