You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
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