You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
