Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
even my farts smell like vagina
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
