Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize