I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
