we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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