I love black thongs
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
