Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
