just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
