i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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