Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
