end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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