So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I am spending my child support on dildos
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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