Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
