who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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